And when they scrape their knee, you can also hire someone to comfort them.

The NYTimes is running an article about people who hire a nanny to comfort their baby at night. One woman says

“[The nanny] swaddles the baby and sings to him and that’s the whole point for us — she has a lot more energy and patience at that point in the day than my husband or I do. We are wiped out.”

And, hey, I understand being wiped out and having a high pressure job and all but, um, why did you have kids? It isn’t like it is going to get easier. Are you going to hire someone to potty train them? Learn to ride a bike? Go to parent teacher conferences? To me, comforting your baby and attending to his or her needs is an essential part of being a parent. I am not against having a nanny or help for some tasks. I am not for this parents-have-to-be-heroes and be perfect and all-attentive. But it seems like six nights a week of someone caring for your baby is sort of like having a baby and then hiring someone to parent him or her, especially if you work during the day so you aren’t home with the baby then either. You can’t parent only on Sundays.

I just think it is part of this on-going thing where people think they can still be good parents without making any changes to their lives. (See article that Ms. T pointed out a few months ago about how children are not decor (shock!), including this weirdo family that refused to put up stair railings because it just looked so bad. Do seat belts also wrinkle their clothes, too?)

5 Responses to And when they scrape their knee, you can also hire someone to comfort them.

  1. uuMomma says:

    I remember wishing so much for a full night sleep. On the surface, this seems both common-sense and over-the-top ridiculous at the very same time. Still, as I sit here with my youngest daughter’s 10th birthday just a few weeks away, as hard as that time was with so little sleep, it isn’t the holding them at night I wish I’d have paid someone to do. It is the laundry and the cooking and the cleaning. I may have to blog on this. I’m tearing up just thinking about sitting in my rocker (now broken), falling asleep with a baby on my chest. A full night’s sleep is good, but those memories? So, so, so, so, so much better.

  2. Lizard Eater says:

    I’m with you, uuMomma … baby on my chest … okay, affixed to my breast … watching some crappy tv show at 3 am … the only one awake in the house … love it.

    I had just been wondering about “what do the rich people do” when their child has cancer. I mean, it’s not like you can buy a better brand of chemo. “It’s the same chemo, but it’s delivered in a Birkin bag!” Tee-hee.

    I haven’t seen any nannies here, sitting for the 4+ hours it takes to get one 2 minute dose of chemo. Seems like just moms. And none with Birkins.

  3. I was just reading about hiring a baby night nurse for the first three months in What to expect for the first year or some such baby book. It must be not as uncommon as it seems. Setting the morality aside, I just don’t know how anyone could afford to.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Thanks for the comments everyone. I also just want to be clear that I am not somehow criticizing parents who are at the end of their rope, don’t know what to do, and need some extra help (although I am with UUMomma on that one that I would hire someone to do all the chores and take care of the baby myself). I think there is a huge difference between, “We haven’t had a good nights sleep in six weeks, and we feel like we can barely go on and don’t know what to do,” and “We hire someone to do the hard stuff that we don’t like with raising kids because we are too tired and busy with our intense jobs.” Although, I don’t know how you afford the first option if you don’t have high-paying (and probably intense jobs).

  5. Elizabeth says:

    Returning to this post after having a two year old nearly three years later, I take it back. I understand why someone would hire someone to stay up with their baby why they sleep. I get it. Shows what happens when you make judgements about people before you were, you know, in their shoes.

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