This post is absolutely not to get sympathy or pity but it is supposed to be a little spiritual post to share some of what I have learned about health and wellbeing….
The situation is that when I was about 14 or 15 I started getting sick with various ailments and got sicker and sicker throughout my teenage years and no one really figured out what was wrong. I went to a lot of doctors who just sort of didn’t know what was going on. We finally settled on chronic fatigue syndrome, but that was just sort of a best guess. When I was about 20 and started seeing holistic doctors and seeking alternative treatment, I got less sick and it has been less bad since. But not gone. And now, the week that my mom visited for her longest visit EVER I got very very sick with multiple infections. I am pretty much always more or less tired. Think how you feel after you run maybe a mile or two. I feel like that really most of the time. So I’ve been laying around all week feeling sorry for myself but as I sit in my cozy little apartment and listen to itunes while surfing uublogs, I felt it important to honor a body that is more sensitive to her environment and reflect on how difficult it is to be in our bodies as our bodies rather than as vessels that get us around, like a little car you can take to the mechanic if it isn’t working. So often, I get very grumpy and declare that I’m just going to go to a doctor and insist that he or she make me better, whatever it takes. But in the moments when I am more mindful, I remember that Elizabeth’s body is not like Elizabeth’s Scion (that’s my cute little car). Of course, there are things that require a doctor to treat you – broken leg, breast cancer, etc. I’m not saying that doctors can’t help in the healing process. But what my body constantly reminds me is that it is part of me and I must be in my body and take an active role in caring for myself as a whole being – body, mind, spirit. I would probably not have the nerve to say if I had it to do all over again that I would go through my years of serious and less-serious-but-still-really-not-nice health challenges again. But, since I have gone through this and continue to, I am amazed at how much I learn from it and how much we are taught by our society that health is about the absence of being “sick” and after a bout like I’ve had this week, I forget how wonderful it is to feel pretty good rather than really bad. Hallelujah for the small joys of life!
What if we were taught early on that if we hold onto hurt, to trauma… that this will be held not only in our minds but our bodies?
What if we were taught that sickness is not something that needs to be “fixed” but a message our body is sending us that our systems are in distress and need attention – either physical, mental, or spiritual – or all three?
What if care of the soul was understood to be essential to health and well-being?
What if doctors learned to listen to patients? What if our doctor was one part of our approach to healing, rather than the mechanic who will fix us?
What if our culture prioritized health rather than productivity?
What if we didn’t feel guilty when we needed to rest more? To take care of ourselves more?
p.s. Speaking of small joys of life, super-companion-animal woman of our church who has cats, dogs, and, if I understand her correctly, a tourtiuse, will probably be adoptiong Harriet and Max our little foster kittens. This woman is super smart and kind and just overall cool (and her husband is equally neat although not as in love with animals as she is and as W. and I are) and she is such a good mama to her companion animals – we’re so excited that Max and Harriet might get to move in with her we can barely stand it. Max and Harriet are psyched too :) We can visit them! Yay!